Saturday, July 09, 2005

Feng Shui. No! not the movie.

Most likely you've already heard of Feng Shui – no, not the movie. The ancient Chinese art of furniture arranging.

A lot people including my colleagues, believes that by having your place of business or house feng shui'd will keep you contented, wealthy and healthy.

Unfortunately (sorry can’t think of another word), though, Feng Shui experts charge an arm and a leg for information that generally seems to imply to "don't put things in places you'll tumble over them".

But don’t you worry, there's no need to shell out a fortune for awful and a waste of time feng shui advice. My drinking buddies from work share some of their preferred guidelines.

Yes! Of course it’s free!

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Never let the kids leave their toys in places where you can trip over them.

Placing iron bars on your windows will stop your money bearing 'dragon energy' from getting out the windows. It will also keep the “akyat bahay gang” out and your dvd player in (so you can watch Kris Aquino’s “Feng Shui” the movie).

Place a "No Bad Energy" sign next to the “Beware of Dogs" sign on your front yard. Hell, we all know they work...”kahit na wala tayong aso, diba?"

Plastic wrapped around your new couch will protect the expensive furniture from dust, any liquid spillage and keep the 'bad odor energy' away.

Try to place a combination lock on your kitchen fridge. It will definitely help you control your “pig spirit” (oink-oink!).

My drinking buddies told me that the ritual consumption of “mainit na sabaw” after finishing a bottle of whiskey will assist the exit of “espirito ng alak” in our system. (Hik!) Mhy not-sho-drinking friend told mhe that a carefully fleyshed… err…placed “palanggana” by the bhed can helf… can help, Hik! avoid carpet stains. (hik! inom pa tayo!) Ladies and gentlemen… this is the ‘whiskey spirit’ speaking.

Make sure that a remote control is on your favorite sofa, it allows you to better communicate with your TV spirits. And decreases the “nakaka-tamad feeling”.

Dish washing is a boring chore. But getting paid from every gray hair you plucked out of your “lolo’s” head is a brilliant way to keep your “cell phone chiloaded. (The standard rate for every “puting buhok” nowadays is P2, hey! During my lolo’s time I was only paid 25 cents per gray hair.)

A bottle of Toilet Duck (strawberry flavor) in the toilet kills the evil 'Germ Energy' in the air.

Mirror Factor-
A mirror on the front entrance of the house will prevent evil spirits from commuting all the way to the bathroom to look at themselves.

A mirror placed on your refrigerator door reminds you how fat you look every time you want to open it. This can ward off the ‘big pig energy’ in you.

“Kailangan daw maglagay ng salamin sa inyong front door, para ‘wag daw makalabas yung swerti. At pwede mo pang i-check ang ngipin mo kung meron nakasabit na kangkong before heading off to the office”. (he-he-he!)

Kayo mga friends… naniniwala ba kayo sa Feng Shui? O, tagay pa!

cheers!

2 Comments:

Blogger micketymoc said...

BWAHAHAHAHA! Nice one!

July 12, 2005 10:06 AM  
Blogger goryo4u said...

bwahhahahaha! bakit ganun?
parehong pangit tawa naten?
'gayan siguro talaga kapag the "fun energy" is all over you!

salamat sa pagdaan.

cheers:)

July 12, 2005 7:08 PM  

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