Wednesday, July 13, 2005

Performance Appraisal Terms and Their Real Meanings

I found this big brown envelope with this tag written in red letters, “FOR HRD USE ONLY”. I opened it. Found one piece of paper. I read what’s written on it. And now you’re reading it.

Performance Appraisal Terms and Their Real Meanings

AVERAGE EMPLOYEE.......... Not too bright
EXCEPTIONALLY WELL QUALIFIED.......... Made no major blunders yet
ACTIVE SOCIALLY.......... Drinks a lot
FAMILY IS ACTIVE SOCIALLY.......... Spouse drinks too
CHARACTER ABOVE REPROACH.......... Still one step ahead of the law
QUICK THINKING.......... Offers plausible excuses
CAREFUL THINKER.......... Wont make a decision
PLANS FOR ADVANCEMENT.......... Buys drinks for all the boys
AGGRESSIVE.......... Obnoxious
USES LOGIC ON DIFFICULT JOBS.......... Gets someone else to do it
EXPRESSES THEMSEVES WELL.......... Speaks English
METICULOUS ATTENTION TO DETAILS.......... A nit picker
HAS LEADERSHIP QUALITIES.......... Is tall or has aloud voice
EXEPTIONALLY GOOD JUDGEMENT.......... Lucky
KEEN SENSE OF HUMOR.......... Knows a lot of dirty jokes
CAREER MINDED.......... Back Stabber
OF GREAT VALUE TO THE COMPANY.......... Gets to work on time
RELAXED ATTITUDE.......... Sleeps at desk
WORK IS FIRST PRIORITY......... Too ugly to get a date
INDEPENDENT WORKER.......... Nobody knows what he/she does
GREAT PRESENTAION SKILLS.......... Able to bullshit
GOOD COMMUNICATION SKILLS.......... Spends a lot of time on the phone
LOYAL.......... Can’t get a job anywhere else

Ngek! ganun pala yun? Kaya pala sabi nila loyal daw ako.


Cheers!

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