Sunday, September 18, 2005

Lessons I Have Learned

As the eldest of four children, I had lots of first hand experience. I thought I knew what parenthood would be like. I knew it would be difficult, but with prayers I confidently hoped that I could guide and teach my daughter through childhood. But when I left for abroad the more difficult it becomes for me to be a parent. But even with the distance between us, what I have discovered is that my daughter, just by being who she is, also guide and instruct me. In the space of just a few years, she has passed on a number of life lessons.

LIVE IN THE MOMENT

Nobody has to tell Rica to enjoy today; for her, right now is all there is. Now here at work hundreds of miles away from her, when I find myself racing through one activity just to be able to move onto the next, I try to slow down and take Rica’s approach, which is to enjoy the contentment of being right where I am.


POSITIVE THINKING

Believe in yourself. The power of positive thinking this is what every parent should have, and Rica is a prime example of this. A few years ago when I was about to end my month long vacation and school season is about to begin, she announced that she would love school and I would be OK. Until now I still ponder if I am doing the right thing… being away from her. Indeed, she does eagerly try her best and therefore enjoys every new experience at school, and I have learned to handle her being away every day. Most of the time, I am just simply encouraged by her natural self-assurance.

MEANINGFUL MOMENTS CAN HAPPEN ANYTIME ANYWHERE

Before I became daddy G, I thought that life’s biggest moments would prove to be the most profound. But to my surprise, my only child showed me otherwise. It was not the first birthday, nor the first time I saw her in school uniform that moved me most. It is Rica’s spontaneous embrace, followed by “daddy, I love you”, or the high-spirited smile when she first wakes in the morning. Recently I recieved a phone call from her and after her birthday greeting just before she said "bye-bye" in very shy and soft voice she said "I miss you". Such small gestures are simply the most meaningful and most enduring.

I foresee that as she grows and I become older of course, my lessons will only proceed. Our children permit us to look at our selves in a different manner and remind us of what type of persons we wanted to be.

Therein lies the ultimate lesson.

As a parent, you never stop learning.

9 Comments:

Blogger not a lot of nonsense said...

tol,

being a "father" myself, right now...after reading your post message...i want to go beside meg (my own little angel) right away and tell her "i love you!!!"

naalala ko tuloy yung isinulat ko sa baby book nya..."meg, when you grow-up and decided to be an astronaut...don't worry..daddy will miss you...but do not cry for the distance between earth and moon will be just a heartbeat away"

di ba ganon lang yun...

:)

volta

September 18, 2005 12:52 AM  
Anonymous rachel said...

hmmm... d k lng po matututo sa anak mo... paglaki nun ikaw na po ang papasunurin nun hehe...

takot nga sa akin ang tatay ko ngayon eh, mahirap din magpalaki ng tatay hahaha...

pero i respect my tatay so much at kahit malayo sya, sya pa rin ang the best... for sure your daughter will grow up to me a nice young lady who loves her daddy so much...

take it from a daddy's girl *wink*

September 18, 2005 3:57 AM  
Blogger atoy said...

kasama mo ba jan pamilya mo o iwan sa atin sa 'pinas. hirap ng mapalayo sa pamilya lalo na pag may mga anak. kaya ka siguro natagalan bago gumaling iba kasi ang may nag-aasikaso at may anak na kapiling pag di okey ang iyong feeling. isang ngiti ng yong anak ay katumbas na ng 4 tabletas ng analgesic lalo na at sasamahan pa ng yakapson at kisspirin ni mrs.

September 18, 2005 7:19 AM  
Blogger goryo4u said...

@ not a lot af nonsense: tol, kaya nga ayaw ko maging astronaut ay dahil sa layo nito sa pasig. pero parang astronaut din ako dito dahil distansya din ang naging problema ko. mabuti na lang meron internet at telepono. pero mas swerte ka dahil anytime pwede mo yakapin at i-kiss si meg.

@rachel: ayaw ko naman talaga na matakot ang aking baby sa akin. tsaka ang totoo niyan ay takot din ako kanya kapag nahihiya makipag-usap sa akin. gusto ko pwede siya magkwento sa akin ng kahit ano wag lang tungkol sa kanyang boyfriend to be.

honga pala, wag ka magboypren ng indiano jan sa KL, bobolahin ka lang nun. pili ka ng pinoy, iyong binata ha! hehehe!

@ ka atoy: parang tama ka nga yata doon sa tagal ng pag galing ng sakit ko. kulang sa alaga.

isa kasi ako doon sa mga tatay na kailangan lumayo sa piling ng aking mga mahal sa buhay para lang kumita ng pera. tama ka mahirap pero kailangan.

hindi rin ako makahingi ng yakapsul at kisspirin kay mrs dahil nasa amerika siya, hindi daw kasya sa sobre iyong kisspirin.

ibang klase iyong kaso ano ka atoy? pero salamat pa din sa diyos dahil alam ko na sa kabila nitong pagsubok na ito ay pasasaan ba at magkakasama muli kami.

September 18, 2005 2:41 PM  
Blogger bing said...

this is sweet. true, as parents, it is not the kids only who are learning. i also learn from them. i learned to control my temper. i learned to watch my every move becuz they watch, they observe. we learn from them while they are learning from us. isnt that cool?

as i have been telling my kids, learning cannot be derived from the school only. much of the lessons in life are learned from life's experiences.

kudos to a very sweet father!

September 18, 2005 3:56 PM  
Blogger Pao said...

what a very insightful & moving post. malayo ka rin pala sa family mo. my hubby's away (due to work) also. although we were recently just married, the temporary separation really makes us miss each other so much. hay, i really hope & pray that we will be together soon before we have our own kids. :)

September 18, 2005 8:08 PM  
Blogger duke said...

naks, seryosong post ah. at napakabaet na tatay ah. pero pare, bakit tuwing binubuksan ko ang comment page mo eh porno window ang unang lumalabas sa browser ko? cookie ko kaya yun o naka link ka dun? hmm....

September 19, 2005 1:40 PM  
Anonymous widlfire said...

baet mo namang daddy :)ok tong entry mo...kakaiyak...hehehe

feeling guilty tuloy ako, my dad was hospitalized nung naglayas ako eh...:(

god bless!

September 19, 2005 5:16 PM  
Blogger goryo4u said...

@ bing aka juliet: it took me some time to realize that i am actually learning from what Rica was telling me. i am still trying to enjoy the satisfaction of being where i am, but given the reality of being away from her makes it very dificult. but then again, this made me really listen to her, this made me understand what she was trying to tell me.

@ pao: being apart from the one i love is the one thing i cant avoid right now. never let the space between you and your hubby disturb you. instead, use it as a weapon to encourage and motivate you, katulad ng natutuhan ko kay rica. tsaka tama yan, gawa ng kids... mas madami, mas masaya.

@ doc duke: seryo nga siguro doc, pero mabait... hindi siguro.

naku, yang mga porno site na yan ang sumira sa aking notebook kaya sure ako doc duke na wala akong link niyan ngayon. kaya malamang na isa yan sa cookies mo... hehehe!

@ wildfire: iyan nga sana ang plano ko eh, ang maging mabait na tatay, kabaliktaran nga lang ang nangyari.

sigurado ako kapag nag-sorry ka kay dad mo, gagaling kaagad yun. tsaka sa next time na maglalayas ka gayahin mo ako... magpaalam ka muna. cheers!

September 22, 2005 1:18 AM  

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